Approaching
When you see a girl you’d like to approach, do it without question within 5 seconds. The longer you wait, the more nervous you’ll be, and the more likely you’ll be to talk yourself out of it. What you are going to say is something you should think about on the spot – thinking of whatever you are going to before will just make you more nervous and if the first words don’t come out properly, the rest won’t, and most likely you will just look like an idiot.
If you still want to say a line, something like “Hey, where did you get top from? It looks kind of cool” or something like “Do you dye your hair?”. Once you got her to reply back to you, continue your conversation. One thing to remember is that girls love to talk but hardly have a chance to do so, so keep asking questions such as “so tell me about yourself” and they will automatically feel attracted to you (even if just as a friend at this stage).
Just remember to never fall for the common mistake – never compliment her too much. Doing that will make her feel really good about herself and can make her think she’s too good for you. Also if she’s really hot, chances are that she’s been approached by guys before so you’re nothing special. Not using compliments can make her think if there’s something different about her that you never used any compliments or anything like the rest 100 or so guys.
Another tip - always try to use jokes in a natural way to make her laugh during your conversation. Its a good way to make her and yourself feel more comfortable with each other. And I’m NOT talking about those “knock knock” jokes! I mean jokes such as funny random stuff that happened in your life that you tell her to make her laugh (and if you don’t have any, just make some up!) and BAM! Your in the zone!
Now once you got talking, try and interrupt and say your late and have to go somewhere or meet someone. This way, she would want to meet you again to finish off the conversation, and if you hint to her by saying something like “I have to go, call me later yea?”, hopefully she will take the hint, reply with something like “I don’t have your number”, which you can reply to “Oh sorry, you want it?” and give your number to her. Notice in that line, your not directly asking for her number, but hinting to her, so even if she says no, your not in the tight spot. Even so, the important thing is the impression you made on her, by staying in control of the situation.
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i like this, the last paragraph is certainly some very useful advice
Comment by jimmy c — March 27, 2008 @ 11:32 pm
Very nice article. A lot I hadn’t thought about
Comment by Jack — March 28, 2008 @ 6:36 am
this is stupid. I AM a girl, and if a guy walked up to me and said, “do you dye your hair?” I would give him the strangest look and I definitely wouldn’t want to continue a conversation with him.
try asking something like, “do you know any place I could get coffee around here? all I can find is starbucks… ugh.” something believable and something that doesn’t make you sound like a tool.
next, don’t worry about complimenting her. you WANT this girl to have confidence, and you want her to like you simply because you are awesome. and you probably are.
don’t tell her every eight seconds how pretty she is- because I’ve been there. it’s annoying.
but drop a few compliments per conversation.
things like “you are hilarious,” “wow, I’ve never met a girl as passionate/smart/interesting/accomplished as you.”
stuff like that.
compliments about a girl’s personality are so much better than, “you’re really hot.”
yes, you should either give her your number or ask for hers- but asking for her number is a compliment in itself, and I doubt you’ll get turned down if you aren’t a creepy forty year old talking to an eighteen year old.
just go for who you like and BE YOURSELF!
you want someone to like you for who you are.
Comment by c. — March 28, 2008 @ 7:10 am
Awesome tips there dude, but please can you proof your document, it is missing some words and also may have wrong words in it. It is kind of hard to read.
Thanks.
btw, I stumbled here.
ciao
Comment by al — March 28, 2008 @ 7:10 am
“Hey, where did you get that top from?” - that comment could be successful… because girls would like having a (cliche) gay friend to shop with. Why else would you ask such question?
C made some pretty good points here, too.
What I suggest is approaching the girl and making a comment about whatever’s happening at that moment. Because seriously, how is “Hey, nice shoes!” a good conversation starter? You’d be better off talking about the weather.
Comment by XR — March 28, 2008 @ 2:39 pm
ha! I like the critique by c, the female. She writes:
“Don’t worry about compliments…”
and then she goes on to say…
“Toss in a compliment here and there…”
is that stereotypical, or is it just me?
Comment by n — March 28, 2008 @ 6:55 pm
Haha, what I think she was trying to say is don’t over-compliment with things like “You’re so beautiful” because odds are she’s heard it before. If you’re genuinely interested in this girl you should point out something more personal (no, not her breasts) like her cute freckles or original bracelet (yes, girls do like it when you notice their clothes) and leave it at that. DO NOT tell her that her eyes make you melt inside or her smile lights up the whole room…at least not yet. Those kinds of compliments mean so much more from a man you know loves you for you.
Also, you CAN start with shoes when initiating a conversation. My favorite pick up line that I have received? It’s: “Oh, I love your shoes, especially the way you have them clashing with your shirt like that! It’s so cool.”
Granted, that may seem really insulting to the more dense girls out there and I definitely wouldn’t try this on if you’re new to picking up women. Just know the secret is in the confidence and tone of your voice. Be yourself, even be a little FULL of yourself when you start that conversation with that really beautiful girl.
Good luck!
Comment by Meagan — April 7, 2008 @ 7:01 pm
Okay, first of all, never, EVER start off a conversation with a girl you’ve never met by saying “Do you dye your hair?” or “Nice top.” The first one makes you sound like an asshole, the second like a fag. Telling a girl you’ve never met that she’s beautiful is dumb, and will make her think that you’re just like every other guy. Compliments about the small things are great, like charm bracelets and freckles as was said above.
Joking is great! Not real jokes, just funny childhood stories or something hilarious that your boss said.
Comment by Carly — April 9, 2008 @ 12:14 am